International performer Billy Crawford finally broke his silence on his break up with Nikki Gil when he sat in an exclusive interview with host Boy Abunda on The Buzz Sunday, July 28.
Early this week, reports of Billy and Nikki's separation surprised everyone (read report here) followed by the confirmation from the couple's management. However, the two were mum on the issue until Billy's guesting on The Buzz to clarify the issue once and for all.
An emotional Billy Crawford confirmed the break up to host Boy Abunda. However, he denied that a third party is involved. He said that he was lost and needed to find himself first.
"Nawawala ako. I'm very lost, very confused. Walang kinalaman si Nikki. It all boils down to me," said Billy. "When it comes to finding the right one, it's hard to find the right one kung ikaw mismo not right. I forgot what makes me happy. I forgot who I am. I don't know what I'm doing."
"She has no fault. I'm not a perfect guy nor a perfect person. I've done some things that I regret. She's supportive, she was there but I'm the one who's completely lost and I'm searching, find myself."
Billy said that he never wanted to do the interview but he just needed to clarify all the issue and clear all speculations before he leave for the US on August 3 to spend the much-needed time with his family. He also said that he still love Nikki, who he said fought hard for the relationship.
"Honestly Tito boy, it's so hard to love someone and to continue if I don't even love myself, if I am unhappy. I lover her, I still do but it's unfair to continue. I don't want to continue to hurt her. [I did not fell out of love], I just fell out of the face of the earth."
"I feel such a bad person to be honest. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. Importante pala na mahanap mo ang sarili mo muna. Kung maligaya ka, mas madaling magpaligaya ng ibang tao. The latter part of our relationship, hindi ko siya napaligaya. Nasaktan ko siya," Billy told Boy when asked what he learned from the relationship.
Billy said that his The Buzz interview will be the first and the last time that he will be talking about the issue. When asked what his prayer would be, Billy said, "Save me. I feel like the devil's really strong and I feel defeated. All I can ask for is forgiveness."
"Only God knows [if this is really the end of my relationship with Nikki]."
Billy ended his interview with this one very short message for Nikki Gil: "I hope you understand."